12/26/2018

A letter to my past self. Dear Rachel, The last time you posted on this blog, things were a whole lot different. You were in love with a boy who would someday turn out to be the worst thing to ever happen to you. You don't know this yet, though I wish more than anything that I could go back in time and stop you from having to go through that. Hannah was your best friend. Sorry about that one. You were still planning on going to WVU for psychology. Keep your head up. Things will be rough, but I cant even tell you how amazing your life is now. You're in love, and sharing an apartment with, the most amazing, kind man. He'll help heal your emotional scars, and teach you that you don't need someone to save you. You started your future dream career as an Esthetician. You dumped Hannah as a best friend because she wasn't cutting it anymore and that's okay. It hurt for a while but it was needed for the sake of your mental health. You're feeling a lot right now, and that's okay. Reading my old blog posts makes me want to laugh, cry, and give you a hug. It's okay to feel sad, happy, depressed, misunderstood, and wild. When you reach age 24 those feelings will feel like a story you heard told by someone else years ago. In a weird way, I miss feeling these things so intensely. At the time they felt so heartwrenching, but I don't know if I'll ever feel something as raw ever again. I miss feeling. Things WILL get better. I know this was a hard time for you, but you'll learn to be happy. You'll surround yourself with supportive, kind, positive, hilariously synical people who will carry you through some of the roughest times of your life and you'll see the other side. Enjoy every minute of being young. Dance more at homecoming, flirt more with the boys who you thing are "out of your league" (They'll all try to DM you after high school), maybe even go to a party with alcohol. You'll never regret the nights that you had too much fun, only the nights that you could have and were too scared. I love you. Godspeed.